Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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