with your own penis?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
