My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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