What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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