So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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