isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
