I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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