I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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