am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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