I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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