You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
