In the future we'll all be gay
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
