just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My feet surprised me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
