She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
What a dumb baby whore.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
