On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize