I am puke
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
