Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize