Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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