too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
