We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
