And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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