I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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