I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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