he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
