Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
