Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
