Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
