He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
