then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
