So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
