Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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