I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
