Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
