i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize