she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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