Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize