you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
