that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
