I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
