i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
