Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
