im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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