If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
