so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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