Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think a kid would responsible me up
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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