Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
