awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
