So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
