So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize