Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
