i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
