i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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