This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
