i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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