When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sorry about my life...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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