I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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