i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
