i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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