he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
