Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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