So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
