My first STD was from a foam party
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
