and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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