umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
