He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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