i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Randomize
