I love how my cats smell like pot.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
